Little Did We Know

Dear follower,

We have encountered a major road block. I told my beautiful friend Megan that we've hit a bump in the road, but then realized it's more like a pothole. The kind that when you hit it, you grit your teeth and gasp. Then make a mental note to get your car realigned.

This is something major. This changes everything. This is something that had to be repeated to me because I thought wished I had heard wrong.

I'm not ready to share what has happened. Some of you lovely followers I know in real life. I know you follow and read out of love, you care. That is something that I appreciate more than you’ll ever know. But this is something that Mr. Muffin and I have to agree on before I blog about it. Maybe it’s just too painful right now.

We are brokenhearted and our knees are pretty scuffed up right now. In the mean time, I am here…just not baking a muffin.


The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. -Psalm 34:18

I WIN!!!!

That's what I shouted when I got off the phone with my nurse this morning.

My insurance WILL cover all monitoring while I'm on Clomid or any other drug therapy!!! Woot Woot :)

I'm very annoyed with my Dr and nurse for just assuming that my insurance wouldn't cover just b/c it's IF. They don't know my policy, how dare them just assume. I'm sure they were hoping I wouldn't look into it and I would just "calm" down over the weekend.

No. I demand to be monitored and I'm sorry if it's an inconvenience to her (actually I'm not sorry) but it's my body and I pay good money for insurance and by golly I'm going to use it. My insurance rocks too, they cover all diagnosis and treatments for IF. They just don't cover ART (IVF, IUI). But we're not even close to crossing that bridge yet...and I pray we don't have to.

I was so happy to get all of that dealt with this morning and win my own little battle. It felt great to actually celebrate something lol. I won and I did a little happy dance too :) So now actually I'm looking forward to 100 mg Clomid in the beginning of December and on CD 13 (I think) I'll go in for a pelvic and transvaginal to check my ovaries and such.

Celebrating any victory I can get :)

I know I know...

I said I would keep you updated and I did not. I'm a bad blogger-sorry :( I was trying to just "go with the flow" and "not stress" about being on Clomid and just hope my body responded.

So did it??!?!?!

No.

That hope was high too. I know it was just my first round but after 14 months of IF...any medicated cycle (or not) you're putting everything you have in it. Not only did I not ovulate but my nurse said "ummm you're progesterone level was 0.10....so yeah that's like the lowest possible haha".

Yes she giggled. I wish I were joking.

What a (insert name here)

My side effects weren't that bad on 50 mg. I had occasional hot flashes and for some reason chest pain. I couldn't find anything online about chest pain being linked to Clomid but all I know is it started when I started the meds and stopped when I stopped the meds. It wasn't heart burn either, it was a very tight feeling, like someone was sitting on me. Strange I know.

So what's next? Well we're going to CO for Thanksgiving and since I'm not pregnant we're going skiing!!! I'm so dang excited about that, we haven't been for a couple of  years. Obviously we would much rather be baking little muffin but we're trying to make the best of it. We LURVE the mountains. So time to play in the powder :) When we get back from CO if I haven't started my period on my own (which I haven't since TTC but maybe that fresh mountain air will do the trick lol) I'll start Provera to end this cycle and we'll do 100 mg of Clomid.

Right now I'm in a battle with my insurance company regarding monitoring on Clomid. My policy specifically says that monitoring (including ultra sounds) while on drug therapy is covered. Well they're trying to tell me that Clomid is assisted treatment. NO IT'S NOT. Clomid is not IUI or IVF or any sort of ART. It's a drug therapy. So I'm fighting just so they'll monitor and protect my precious goods. It's so frustrating. So please pray or send good vibes that I'll have favor and win this little battle.

So it'll be the first of December when I start 100 mg Clomid. I'm sure you all can guess what my wish will be when I blow out my birthday candles on Dec 22nd ;) I'll also be singing "All I want for Christmas is a BFP (big fat positive)" this holiday season.

 Until next time...take a look what I got J for his anniversary gift!

Six beautiful years we've been married and I've always wanted to do a shoot like this for him-especially before kids. It was a B-LAST! We love the 50/60s and they dolled me all up at Vixen Pin Up Photography in Kansas City.

 

 It's been a couple of weeks since I gave him this gift and everyday he thanks me...still. If you're going through IF and your sex life has been exposed and has become completely unsexy thanks to precise timed sex then I highly recommend a pin-up or boudoir shoot. It made me feel so beautiful and hot again. I needed that :)