Tuesday Tunes

I'm starting a new thing. Every Tuesday (ok ok I'll try my best to remember) I'll post a song/video that I've been feeling lately. Today I heard this and thought-yep that's the one.

However I do not love this video. Flo needs to wear pants. End of story.

The Roller Coaster of IF

Do you ever have days when you just want to cry? Days when you simply hurt inside. It’s crazy, some days I feel so strong and courageous. But then some days I feel completely shattered. Broken. Angry. Frustrated. Forgotten.

Some days where you just want to lay on the floor and kick your feet and scream “it’s not fair!!!!”.

Some days when you feel you can’t fight anymore. You just want to throw in the towel. Stay in bed for a while and pretend everything is peachy keen. But then you realize you have to keep moving...because life and the world around you moves on whether you like it or not. The show must go on.

Randomly, I thought about my mail man delivering my package from KU Med. I wonder if it’ll say KU Assisted Reproductive Center on it. I wonder if it’ll be addressed to Bran Muffin-the infertile. I wonder if I’ll be able to open it and fill it out without freaking out and losing it. I wonder if I'll need a new set of papers to fill out because the first set was ruined by tears.

Today, for some reason, is just one of those fragile days. It’s strange, I’m sure tomorrow will be completely different. Because that is what IF does to you. One day hopeful the next day dismayed.

                                              

Hope

There is always hope. ALWAYS.

My sister sent me this awesome article about a couple who went through IVF W/ICSI and had success with ONE sperm! How awesome is that ::happy dance:: This story made me cry, all I could think about is the incredible jouney this couple went through. At the end of it all, they have their sweet little girl-a miracle.

I'm certain they had many days that they thought they'd never see those two pink lines. They would never hear a beautiful heartbeat on a doppler. They'd never get to see the faces of their friends and families when they told them the big news. They'd never hold a life they created together.

But they did. So can you and so can I.

There is always hope.

CD 101 turns into CD 1

What the what?!?!?! Look at those beautiful post O temps :)  ::don't mind that it's 100 days long::

That's right boys and girls-this mama hopeful ovulated and started her period all be herself!!!!

My first non-hormonal pill induced period since I was 16 years old. This is why I chart. This is why, especially if you have PCOS, you should chart too. Because THE DAY (1/4/12) I picked up my script for Provera to end this flipping long cycle was the day I O'd. Crazy crazy awesome. I was standing in line at Walgreens with sharp pains and an increase of CM. If I didn't chart I would've taken Provera and and missed out on my ovulation and allowing my body to have it's own period.

Now-I don't recommend waiting this long for a new cycle but since we found out that Mr. Muffin is now dealing with Severe MFI (Male Factor Infertility) I just didn't care that much. I've even been tempted to get back on BC just to regulate my cycles and help with the chick stash-so attractive I know ::eye roll::

Though being pregnant would be completely amazing and a true miracle (since we have about a 1 % chance of getting pregnant on our own) I'm grateful for my incredibly painful cramps and this bag of chocolate that J bought for me :D THIS IS PROGRESS!!!!!! We must celebrate the little victories friends. We didn't have good timing on Baking Little Muffin...maybe next time. We DO BELIEVE IN MIRACLES and while we save and wait for IVF we'll always be hopeful that a surprise BFP will be in our future.

So anyway, I just wanted to share my very very exciting news. Now accepting high fives and cheering to my ovaries ;)

P.S. I'm so sorry my latest Vlog isn't working...apparently it's too long lol. So I'll try to update this weekend about our current IF & MFI situation. The whole "We're having technical difficulties" wasn't meant to be such a play on words :)

Gasp...a real update! Vlog from me to you :) **we're having technical difficulties**

It's a pretty post O chart :)

Today is CD 98 & 12 DPO

WANTED:SPERM

and about $14k

and statistics to be on our side

No big deal

Stay tuned for more details.