I just went to the store to buy my beautiful sister a Mother's Day card and nearly had a melt down.
How pathetic.
Yes, I'm sad that I'm not a mom. How dare I. I'm sad that I'm not even close to being a mom. We have been trying to bake a muffin for 8 months and I haven't had one period on my own. I've had 2 periods but they were both induced with Provera. I haven't ovulated...not once. I haven't even had the opportunity to become a mom. "Maybe next year" is what I told myself as I sighed when I sat in my car to drive home.
Also, I've lost my mom. Not physical, but in every single other way possible. Her birthday was last month and it was really hard ignoring the day and not sending her a card or buying her a gift. This is so much more difficult though. It's Mother's Day, the day we honor and lavish our mom's with love and admiration. Nope, this isn't the year for that either. I've been dreading this Sunday for awhile now, I'm afraid I'm going to be a mess. It doesn't help that on facebook everyone is posting pics of their mom. Good for them, good for you. I'm happy for you, really. I'd never ever ever want anyone to experience what I did with my mom. I'm just jealous that I won't be changing my facebook photo to a picture of my mom.
Maybe next year.
I'm so sorry that you're going through so much. ((hugs))
ReplyDelete:( Aww Bran. This made made me sad. ::big hug::
ReplyDeleteBran, I am so sorry! I know a little about the history between you and you mom, so I can only imagine how difficult yesterday was for you. Not only because you couldn't celebrate your own mom, but also because you long to be a mommy yourself. I know that you have given your pain about your mom to God, and I pray for your peace regarding that situation. But I can relate to the second one (somewhat) and I truly, truly hope that we are both mommas (or momma-to-be's) this time next year. xx bella
ReplyDeleteThanks ladies, bella...i love you.
ReplyDelete